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Not meant to be

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Floating illuminated lotus lantern on a lake in Vietnam

Divorce.

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How can so many of us go through divorce in our lives, yet every one of us go through it alone, broken in all the tenderest places in our hearts?

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Sometimes divorce is the obvious way forward.  If you need a restraining order against your spouse, you need a divorce to go with that.

 

Often, however, the path is less clear.  Are we incompatible, or are we merely stressed to the max?

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How do I know if our differences are truly irreconcilable?

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Even if I'm not happy, am I safer and more comfortable staying in this broken marriage than venturing into the unknown, solo?

 

Should I talk to an attorney, to my spouse, to my best friend?  Talking makes everything so real, too real.

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If these kinds of questions are keeping you up at night, please know you have a safe space with me to work through your thoughts.  While (hopefully obviously) I'm no marriage counselor, I've been there.  Divorced.  Twice.  As a surgical resident.  And as a surgeon.

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Sometimes our past self didn't do a great job of looking out for our future self.  Sometimes people change.  Or more clearly manifest who they always were.

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Whatever the case, I hope to help you get your bearings in this nasty terrain.  You are a lotus, rising from dark and muddy waters.  Please reach out.

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Sincerely,
Jill

 

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- LAO TZU
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